KT's ConFurence 12 Diary, Page 9

Thursday, Apr. 19, 2001

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Thursday: Lotsa bumper stickers! Meet the Guests of Honor. Ice cream!

Related photos:

manandhorse.jpg
tibo-voop.jpg
parrotsuit.jpg
gornsuit.jpg

Panel 1: The trailer I saw had an interesting mix of funny and serious bumper stickers. Here's what they all said:

Left side:

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, IRVINE
Miskatonic U. - Ex ignorantia ad sapientiam; e luce ad tenebras.
WWCD? (What Would Cthulhu Do?)
OPEN A DARK PORTAL TO A DIMENSION OF EVIL FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND NOTHING WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU THE REST OF THE DAY [Cthulhu graphic]
Illiterate? Write for our free brochure
Cthulhu Computing - When we say "Random Access" We MEAN IT!
WOLF HAVEN INTERNATIONAL - MEMBER - 1-800-448-WOLF
During an EARTHQUAKE - DUCK AND COVER [Graphic: falling rocks, a duck wearing a helmet]
VEGETARIAN - Indian word for "Lousy Hunter"
RESTORE MONO LAKE
Once you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn.
Women exist because sheep can't cook.
Neither of these things explain children.

REALITY is the HAIRBALL in the Catnap of Life
I [heart] Rivers
My kid and your taxes go to STARFLEET ACADEMY
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." --S. Holmes
No Nyarlathotep, No Chaos - Know Nyarlathotep, Know Chaos
Leave your mark. [pawprint graphic]
These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For...
NATIONAL WILDLIFE FEDERATION
The Fund For Animals - [graphic of bear holding a rifle] - SUPPORT THE RIGHT TO ARM BEARS
Keeper's Club - Member
MONTEREY BAY AQUARIUM - MEMBER
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
Go Fascinate Someone Else
Marry a Marsh - Breed More DEEP ONES
My Money and My Sanity Went To MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY
Pro is the opposite of Con. Therefore Congress must be the opposite of Progress
GT
[Red slashed-circle "NO" symbol containing the word 'WHINING']
Save the Whales
The Humane Society - 2001 Member
MINI-VANS ARE TANGIBLE EVIDENCE OF EVIL
ALCOHOL AND CALCULUS DON'T MIX - NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE!
[Cthulhu graphic] MU - MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY - Home of the FIGHTIN' CEPHALOPODS
BLESSED BE THE CENSORS, FOR THEY SHALL TRULY INHIBIT THE EARTH
SOME THINGS ARE TOO PRECIOUS TO LOSE [graphic of butterfly on flower]
Blowfish
The C in "rap" is silent!
Some People Are Only Alive Because It Is Illegal To Kill Them.
Member: MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY ALUMNI ASSOCIATION
GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE - RADICAL PRO-LIFERS KILL PEOPLE
WHERE ARE WE GOING? AND WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?
McCthulhu - In the end there will be one - BURP!
ASPCA
Sorry, I don't date outside my Species
Popularity is a Socially Transmitted Disease
JESUS SAVES - Gretzky gets the puck... He shoots... He Scores!
MINDS ARE LIKE PARACHUTES - THEY ONLY FUNCTION WHEN OPEN
[MST3K logo] "OH BITE ME, IT'S FUN!"
KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY
I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE THAT HOUSE FELL ON MY SISTER!
[Snake graphic] EVE WAS FRAMED
The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.
HATE IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE
RAILS to TRAILS - CONSERVANCY
I've Drunk Wine in the VOLCANO - Volcano Winery, Hawaii
X-Phile
If I wanted your opinion, I'd read your entrails
Proudly marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish.
Vegetables aren't food, Vegetables are what food eats.
MORE JOBS?! WHAT ABOUT LESS PEOPLE?
Religions Are Just Cults With More Members
YOU CAN HAVE MY GUN WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY PARANOID, MENTALLY DISTURBED, PHYSICALLY-ABUSIVE, COLD, DEAD HAND
SOME DAYS, THE MOST INTERESTING THING ON THE TV IS A SLEEPING CAT!

Back:

DARWIN [fish with feet]
REUNITE GONDWANALAND
What we REALLY need is a Moment of SCIENCE in the Public Schools!
Wanted: $10,000 Reward - Schroedinger's Cat - Dead and Alive
[dolphin graphics] Protect Ocean Life
You! Out of the Gene Pool!
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES - USE BIRTH CONTROL
CTHULHU SAVES
So many pedestrians, so little time
And God said: [Maxwell's equations] And there was Light
DEFENDER OF WILDLIFE
[License plate frame, top] STUFFE &
[License plate] NONSNSE
[License plate frame, bottom] INSIDE
I DON'T DESERVE SELF-ESTEEM!
I FOUND JESUS - HE WAS IN MY TRUNK WHEN I GOT BACK FROM TIJUANA
IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER YOU'D BETTER HAVE A CONDOM
MEMBER - MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY ALUMNI ASSOCIATION
CTHULHU [fish with tentacled face]
CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU - IT FOUND ME!
ADOPT AN ANIMAL
[Graphic: Jehovah's Witness figures inside a red slashed-circle "NO" symbol]
Mount St. Helens
[Graphics of mutant smiley faces] Discourage Inbreeding - BAN COUNTRY MUSIC
Cthulhu Tequila - The Wyrm Eats You!
[Graphic: Runners grabbed by tentacles] MISKATONIC SUMMER GAMES - FASTEST FOOD IN ARKHAM [Graphic: Swimmer grabbed by tentacle]
CSUH
OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!
CTHULHU FOR PRESIDENT - Why vote for the lesser of two evils?
"No matter where you go... there you are!" -- Buckaroo Banzai
KTEH - SAN JOSE PUBLIC TELEVISION

Right side:

CONSERVE WATER - Drink VOLCANO WINE - HAWAII
My Other Car Is STARBUG 1 - THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB
I'm not obnoxious - I'm fact challenged
FEED THE HOMELESS TO THE HUNGRY
4 out of 5 cannibals agree: VEGETARIANS TASTE BETTER
STOP GLOBAL WHINING
The nation that destroys its soil - Destroys Itself
Drive Carefully: 90% of all people are caused by accidents.
SUMMA CUM LAUDE GRADUATE - DARTH VADER SCHOOL OF PERSONNEL MANAGEMENT
We're all Dysfunctional - Get over it!
Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have
[Australian flag] AUS
EARTH IS FULL! GO HOME!
MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY - GO PODS GO!
[MST3K logo] "I'M HUGE!"
Amnesty International
Proud Parent Of A Wild Child!
McCthulhu's - OVER 2 BILLION DEVOURED
[2 Egyptian figures] Bast Before - 350 B.C.
Remember when Windows were washed, mice were trapped, and UNIX guarded the harem?
When Cthulhu Calls, He Calls 1-800-COLLECT
NORMAL PEOPLE WORRY ME
I VOTE PRO-CHOICE
OH NO, NOT ANOTHER LEARNING EXPERIENCE!
Don't Drill in Arctic National Wildlife Refuge!
IF GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL SHOOT THEIR KIDS ACCIDENTALLY
No good deed goes unpunished
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather - Because it's easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs
DARE TO KEEP COPS OFF DONUTS - (DONUT ABUSE & ROTUNDITY ELIMINATION)
UNDEAD AND IN CONCERT! SQUID LIPS IS BACK! CTHULHU and THE DARK ONES - NETHERWORLD TOUR
Coming Soon To A Neighborhood Near You... An EARTHQUAKE [drawing of crack in ground] Prepare Now!!
CATS HUMOR US BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THEIR ANCESTORS ATE OURS
I SAW ELVIS MAKING CROP CIRCLES
[word marked out in black ink] the censors!
Member - The Planetary Society
San Francisco Zoo
NATIONAL WILDLIFE FEDERATION - www.nwf.org - Year 2000 Member
CAL STATE FULLERTON
THESE PREMISES ARE PROTECTED BY - THE COMIC BOOK LEGAL DEFENSE FUND - 1-800-99-CBLDF
Friends let you hide at their place. Real friends let you hide bodies.
I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich

B.S. (Phys.): Why does it work?
B.S. (Engr.): How does it work?
B.A. (Acctg.): How much will it cost?
B.A. (Arts): You want fries with that?

TAKING A BYTE OUT OF YOUR SOUL - Cthulhu Computing
[USA wrapped by tentacles] Elder Party Y2K - The Stars Are Right!
Oh, no! I turned out just like my mother!
There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion
Innsmouth Community College - ICC - SEA DEVILS
I DID NOT ESCAPE, I HAVE A DAY PASS!
[Cthulhu graphic] I FEEL YOUR PAIN! (Yum!)
Barney, we'd like for you to meet this week's Special Guest, Mr. Velociraptor
YOUR PROCTOLOGIST CALLED - THEY FOUND YOUR HEAD
SAVE THE BAY - www.savethebay.org
Cthulhu dreamed it. I believe it. That settles it.
[Peace symbol], [Heart symbol], & [Crab graphic]'s - JOE'S CRAB SHACK
[Fish symbol filled with circuit-board lines] JESUS IS BORG - YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED
SUPPORT People Eating Tasty Animals
IF YOU THINK EDUCATION IS EXPENSIVE, TRY IGNORANCE!
I support GUIDING EYES FOR THE BLIND
UNSPEAKABLE RITUAL AND DARK SACRIFICE - IT'S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE! [Cthulhu graphic]
Cthulhu Computing - Chaos Math Our Specialty
KEEP ABORTION SAFE LEGAL & ACCESSIBLE

On the back of the Land Rover the trailer was hitched to:

Your Village Called, Their Idiot Is Missing.
DARWIN [fish with feet]

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